tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-223224672011-10-25T18:02:33.017-04:00Don't ask me to apologize, and I won't ask you to forgive me.Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.comBlogger2061100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-37734582030860095752008-04-16T18:50:00.002-04:002008-04-17T09:40:56.420-04:00

Well, folks, if you've noticed the lack of updates lately, there's a good reason. After a post-comps return to blogging, I happily began a post-comps return to writing--actual writing that I want to pursue and try to publish. It feels like it's been forever.So I've decided to put on some clothes, move out of my mother's basement, and shut down Crazy Little Thing Called Blog. But before I close

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-35850224070020969952008-04-04T15:54:00.001-04:002008-04-04T15:57:34.925-04:00

Sorry to be so lax in updating. But between weatherproofing my basement and getting some real writing done (NB: this is not real writing; you aren't experiencing this right now), I haven't had time to post.Also, according to L-Bo, my beard looks "terroristy." Good to know. See pic below.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-91601099391152204392008-03-22T14:39:00.002-04:002008-03-22T14:43:20.393-04:00

Spring break!!!!! Wooooooooooo!Ahem. Excuse me. We're going radio silent for about a week, as I'll be away from my favorite drugs (tv, computer) and enjoying the desert. And dessert.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-19215679648180053562008-03-21T17:32:00.001-04:002008-03-21T17:35:42.783-04:00

It's rare that I'd show a video from Fox News, but Chris Wallace brings down the hammer on his own network. Watch and enjoy.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-79252802337656380552008-03-20T09:54:00.004-04:002008-03-20T10:02:51.948-04:00

ABC News' Brian Ross, so hard-working he has his own Investigative Unit (teehee, unit), has uncovered the single-most important issue of the campaign. I'll let the headline and subhead tell the story: Hillary At White House on 'Stained Blue Dress' Day Schedules Reviewed by ABC Show Hillary May Have Been in the White House When the Fateful Act Was

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-36448360783635445362008-03-19T21:17:00.001-04:002008-03-19T21:19:29.380-04:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-46235553937511798122008-03-18T18:15:00.003-04:002008-03-18T18:41:22.254-04:00

I've intended to elaborate on race and Geraldine Ferraro, but I've been busy. I apologize to all three of my readers.But today Barack Obama gave a truly incredible speech, one that a) deals with race in a beautifully nuanced way, and b) reinforces why I will vote for him. Given that nuance, I'd like to mention a few words and phrases about race that demonstrate how shallow American discourse is:

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-88223076431705888802008-03-16T11:30:00.003-04:002008-03-16T12:08:05.872-04:00

Wednesday will mark the fifth anniversary of the American invasion of Iraq, five years of occupation and continued conflict. I'll be part of a brief protest, and I suggest anyone who can take part locally also does. Also, today's New York Times includes an excellent article by John F. Burns. Take the time to read it.But I'd like to mention something that really troubles me. Most antiwar efforts

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-48994999504914446342008-03-14T13:01:00.003-04:002008-03-14T13:05:57.044-04:00

Since I go out of my way to criticize Slate for their tendency to publish ridiculous articles (or remain silent on important issues) it's only fair that I post this comment: They nailed this. I'll elaborate on it in a day or two (I've been mulling about eight different "Geraldine Ferraro and race" posts in my head), but for now, you should go read it.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-21914649863977502612008-03-11T10:39:00.004-04:002008-03-11T16:59:37.781-04:00

I like Robert Frost's poetry a lot, but as many writers do, he has his biases that I have a hard time reconciling. For example, it's hard to read Christopher Marlowe's The Jew of Malta or Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice without being very aware of the anti-Semitism (though the latter is much more humane than the former). Not that Frost was an anti-Semite, but his views about women are

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-84786440950072596242008-03-09T09:44:00.003-04:002008-03-09T09:46:31.539-04:00

I've linked to Glenn Greenwald before (and will do so again, I'm sure), but you should go read this. It's a great takedown of journalistic practices in the United States. (It also demonstrates his tendency to overwrite by several hundred words, a tendency I forgive in his case.)

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-23570398524907650812008-03-07T12:16:00.004-05:002008-03-07T12:44:15.789-05:00

[Ed. note: We have an occasional series called "Hey Douchebag!" in which we look at the utter ridiculousness of Slate.com's supposed contrarianism. To read prior entries, click here.]As you may have heard, John McCain actively courted and earned the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee, who 1) hates the Catholic church, calling it "the great whore," "a false cult system," and "the apostate church"; 2

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-65495611751441373942008-03-06T11:34:00.002-05:002008-03-06T11:40:46.115-05:00

but her campaign keeps trying to paint Barack Obama as a Republican. They've compared his campaign tactics to Karl Rove's, and Paul Krugman insinuates that Obama is merely a Republican in Democratic clothing. The latest, from Clinton's spokesperson, Howard Wolfson:I for one do not believe that imitating Ken Starr is not the way to win the Democratic primary.Wow, really? Ken Starr? I understand

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-55517361192193099752008-03-06T11:01:00.002-05:002008-03-06T11:02:07.473-05:00

This video starts a little slow, but stay through at least the fifty-second mark. I wish I were a soccer announcer.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-46625260831776176912008-03-05T22:54:00.001-05:002008-03-05T23:19:32.452-05:00

My second video:

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-88716378257969248032008-03-04T18:45:00.002-05:002008-03-04T18:55:23.250-05:00

When I renewed my driver's license on my birthday in January, the good people at the BMV left a vowel out of my last name. So the woman looking for my name in the precinct book couldn't find it, and I had to show several other pieces of identification to prove that my last name is not, in fact, [REDACTED].One of the people volunteering at my precinct's table didn't trust me because I signed my

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-79022122072326495152008-03-03T07:19:00.003-05:002008-03-03T07:35:59.427-05:00

Hi, Paul Krugman, a word, please: Stop writing about the Democratic primary. Yes, yes, you support Clinton and think Obama would be a mistake. Fine. But when you write paragraphs like the following, it upsets me:Now, nobody would mistake Mr. Obama for a Republican — although contrary to claims by both supporters and opponents, his voting record places him, with Senator Clinton, more or less in

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-6157453237462445522008-03-02T09:38:00.002-05:002008-03-02T10:20:32.243-05:00

I do not believe that Barack Obama's presidency would immediately and automatically transform the world. I am not a dewy-eyed idealist who believes his presidency would end poverty, make us all love one another, and eradicate the problems of partisanship forever. I am not a member of some irrational cult of Obama.And that is, in part, why I wholeheartedly and happily endorse Barack Obama for

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-29214919430124767142008-03-01T17:44:00.007-05:002008-03-05T14:06:03.075-05:00

I made this video. (You have to sit through a bit of Clinton's new "Beware of the bogeymen in the night" ad, but it's worth it.) [Ed. note: the video is fixed. No watermarks.]Maybe Tina Fey should have said, "Bitches get stuff done, unless they're sleep deprived."Also, watch Bill Clinton "endorse" Barack Obama (hat tip to Andrew Sullivan):

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-55512636814384925402008-03-01T10:19:00.003-05:002008-03-01T10:23:13.576-05:00

I refuse to link to the video (you've either seen it or heard about it already), but will.i.am's new Obama video really horrifies me. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic here. All it does is reinforce two ideas (at least):Obama supporters are nothing more than glassy-eyed cultists who believe in the vaguest things and are easily moved by chants.Jessica Alba can say nothing convincingly. (This one

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-67326250375711172602008-02-29T16:06:00.003-05:002008-02-29T16:19:09.780-05:00

Or, if you are so inclined:Or, if you so choose:Enter the ICHC

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-22997481090422224912008-02-28T21:57:00.003-05:002008-02-28T22:28:23.229-05:00

Given the idiocy of most American media, Barack Obama must distance himself from the odious statements of every black person, whereas there's no such litmus test for whites. Not only did Tim Russert attempt to connect Obama to Louis Farrakhan (which led to Hillary Clinton's ever-important parsing of "reject" and "denounce"), he's also questioned Obama about comments made by Harry Belafonte.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-20864334785615667142008-02-28T16:10:00.000-05:002008-02-28T16:11:15.675-05:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-78577004142928044742008-02-28T11:33:00.002-05:002008-02-28T11:34:14.260-05:00

Watch the video at Crooks and Liars. He's incredible.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-59226827977817444252008-02-27T16:41:00.004-05:002008-02-27T17:34:18.234-05:00

[Ed. note: given my blog's enormous readership--it almost extends into the tens--I felt it important to make clear my endorsement for the Democratic presidential primary. My state votes on Tuesday. I endorse Barack Obama, and I'm taking two posts to do so. Today's installment: Why I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton in the primary. Within a few days, why I am voting for Obama.]This has been a very

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-67350459134031527172008-02-27T07:37:00.002-05:002008-02-27T07:39:34.474-05:00

Go over to Gawker and watch the video. Just know ahead of time that you're going to cringe more times than you think. And get a big bucket full of hand sanitizer to dip yourself in.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-6699972736068514182008-02-26T22:57:00.002-05:002008-02-26T22:59:23.833-05:00

Hey friendly Funkytowners, take note: I'm doing my oral defense on Friday afternoon. Whether I pass or not (keeping all appendages crossed right now), I'll be at the Comet in Northside at 5:30 to raise a glass or drown my sorrows. Come on out. Chicky, Wanda, Coral, Oar, all the rest, I'm looking at you.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-79423402472580426102008-02-26T11:44:00.001-05:002008-02-26T11:46:49.044-05:00

So yesterday, I completed my written exams, and I immediately had my picture taken. Somehow, I looked like the lovechild of Malcolm Gladwell and Don Rickles. Let's never speak of this again.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-60665651984549209222008-02-24T17:33:00.002-05:002008-02-24T17:35:18.735-05:00

Go read Frank Rich's column on why Hillary Clinton's campaign has lost so much ground over time to Obama. His point toward the end about Bill Clinton seems off to me--it's awfully reductive, for one thing--but otherwise he makes a lot of apt points.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-92199400699373163672008-02-24T10:22:00.002-05:002008-02-24T10:55:17.386-05:00

A thought experiment: If you were to compare Barack Obama to famous American politicians, who would appear in the top ten? Or to approach this another way: How far down the list would George W. Bush appear?I ask because, as the Ohio and Texas primaries move closer, Hillary Clinton has begun comparing Obama to, of all people, the current president. In a speech yesterday criticizing fliers Obama

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-78361581704252526282008-02-23T10:52:00.003-05:002008-02-23T11:23:05.058-05:00

A quick note from Examland:You may recall that late last year, the House of Representatives passed a resolution to acknowledge how important Christmas is. If you think that was a silly waste of taxpayer resources and time, now there's House Resolution 888. The title?"Affirming the rich spiritual and religious history of our Nation's founding and subsequent history and expressing support for

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-75344445888657137032008-02-20T11:21:00.000-05:002008-02-20T11:22:06.668-05:00

Yaaargh!(Hint: for a few days, I'm the cow.)

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-15385698567985836422008-02-16T13:22:00.002-05:002008-02-16T13:23:51.606-05:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-24846876211028779642008-02-15T15:57:00.002-05:002008-02-15T16:01:11.841-05:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-33688865899076325402008-02-13T20:39:00.004-05:002008-02-13T21:07:13.590-05:00

In reading for my comprehensive exams, I've come across a surprising number of philosophical texts that deal with food. Indeed, exploring the material world proved fruitful for philosophical investigations from the Sophists through Wittgenstein. Below are just some of my faves.Plato (published as Plate), Gorge UsAugustine, ConfectionsJohn Locke, An Essay Concerning Cumin UnderstandingBishop

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-9552467440366177832008-02-09T12:52:00.000-05:002008-02-09T12:55:36.504-05:00

And we're back! I haven't posted since August, but with my comprehensive exams just over a week away, I thought I'd rear my digital head. Some general silliness coming, as well as updates on my exam-related mental health.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-38175251051051666562007-08-20T23:14:00.000-04:002007-08-20T23:15:43.792-04:00

Bad news, bears: this blog is essentially no longer in business. I'll keep it up here, and maybe at some point down the road I'll start moving the gears again. Never fear, though: contact me to find out what I've got in the works. Seriously.Later. It's been fun.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-20304079071189230602007-07-10T02:40:00.001-04:002007-07-10T02:45:06.278-04:00

1) A statue of Jan Neruda, whose last name Pablo Neruda co-opted because his father did not want him to become a poet. And as Bart Simpson said, "I am familiar with the work of Pablo Neruda."2) Prague's replica of the Eiffel Tower (not to scale). It stands atop Petrin Hill, and if you climb up, you get incredible views of the city. But the line is long, and atop Petrin Hill you already see the

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-26824420326995649342007-07-08T14:34:00.001-04:002007-07-08T14:42:30.954-04:00

From Petrin Hill:From Kampa Park:A memorial to the victims of communism and totalitarianism:

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-66851200754017734442007-07-06T10:45:00.001-04:002007-07-06T10:58:47.854-04:00

On almost every Prague guidebook cover, you'll see a shot of Orloj, the astronomical clock that adorns the Old Town Hall in Prague. It doesn't tell the time; it traverses the seasons. Every hour on the hour from eight in the morning to eight in the evening, a small morality play marks the hour. The crowds are amazing, and the show is brief.Two interesting facts:The leaders of Prague blinded the

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-64981658520015224812007-07-06T10:38:00.000-04:002007-07-06T10:45:32.114-04:00

o1) A random cat in a restaurant where I had fantastic pizza. You know, pizza? That Czech food?2) A bust of Franz Kafka. Click on the photo and zoom in. The image isn't exactly flattering. But at least it's not a cockroach head.3) Graves at the Old Jewish Cemetery. This is probably the area in that cemetery where there are the fewest gravestones. Because the Jews in Prague had such little space,

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-51542772010480545822007-07-04T11:00:00.000-04:002007-07-04T11:06:55.739-04:00

1) One of many tourist-trapping things on the Charles Bridge, an all-pedestrian bridge over the Charles River with beautiful views. I didn't take any photos of the couple dozen caricaturists, who seem to advertise most with their drawings of Angelina Jolie. It's like a long supermarket line, just no headlines.2) One entrance to the Charles Bridge. Tons of incredible statuary all over Prague.3)

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-4221061446711240772007-07-04T07:11:00.000-04:002007-07-04T07:23:12.399-04:00

and all I got was this lousy handprint on my ass.After a faculty reading last night, I got on the Metro heading home with a group of friends. It was around ten, crowded. When we got on the car, we were closely packed. Right after the door closed, I felt someone squeeze my ass cheek. I turned, and a sleazy looking old man about a head shorter than me looked away. When he glanced back up at me, he

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-43148838187181048192007-07-01T04:40:00.001-04:002007-07-01T04:46:53.429-04:00

What does Crazy Little Thing look like after 36 hours awake (that's zero minutes of sleep, people), three layovers, a supposedly two-hour walking tour that became an incredibly long three hours, and two very tall Czech beers?(Please note: double chin added and beard thinned in Photoshop.) I think the best description comes from a sticker on the Metro, advertising a beatbox competition. The entire

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-77603342561212327202007-06-28T08:56:00.000-04:002007-06-28T08:56:21.710-04:00

Here's how Olive feels about me going away for a month:"Dad, I've got my laser eyes turned on. One more step with that suitcase, and you'll be toast."

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-52019700714895017592007-05-30T11:02:00.000-04:002007-05-30T11:03:40.666-04:00

Seriously, you'll do fine on your exams. And if you don't, then I'm screwed.There--updatey enough for you?

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-56158125902361842452007-05-23T06:57:00.000-04:002007-05-23T07:09:39.185-04:00

I recommend reading Glenn Greenwald's posts on Salon daily, but if you don't have time (they're longish), at least go read this one. He highlights the bizarre hatred of Muslims from right-wing commentators and rips apart its illogic.But I want to pose a question based on info he focuses on. According to a 2005 Pew poll, a majority of Catholics and almost a majority of white protestants and

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-20834729159575829492007-05-22T19:47:00.000-04:002007-05-22T19:53:14.869-04:00

My poor dog has a cone on her head as she recovers from minor surgery. She's not all that pleased right now, but she's making the best of it. Sorry the pictures are blurry and grainy. I'm not good with our digital camera.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-9441327265938177572007-05-16T21:05:00.000-04:002007-05-16T21:25:12.780-04:00

So, as several of you have pointed out to me, I haven't updated the blog in a while. Below is a list of reasons I haven't been posting. You may choose to believe any or all of them. But you have to choose.I've been praying very hard for God to lighten the earth of a religious blowhard. Finally worked.I had an incomplete grade to take care of.I think of my blog as an extension of my penis. And, um

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-60735453528151151192007-04-08T11:10:00.000-04:002007-04-08T11:21:07.571-04:00

As you may have heard, ESPN employs a vandal. His name is Colin Cowherd, who hosts a show called "The Herd with Colin Cowherd." Like most radio talk show hosts, he's generally unlistenable, mainly because he sees his job as sparking controversy. Now he's done something that violates FCC regulations, asking his listeners (as others have pointed out, who knew he had an audience) to launch a

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-37890689203542221612007-03-13T15:44:00.000-04:002007-03-13T15:45:33.020-04:00

Talk about it at Videocracy(H/T to The Onion's Videocracy)

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-27689913925078054902007-03-12T19:24:00.000-04:002007-03-12T19:25:32.767-04:00

(H/T to The Hater)

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-56875345649862746672007-03-06T18:28:00.000-05:002007-03-06T18:58:43.320-05:00

That's right, I used kerfuffle in the post title.Commenter JimNantz (not the famous Jim Nantz, presumably) doesn't understand why a white writer using "playing the race card" bothers me. I spent most of the day at work drafting a response in my head, only to find that a quick Google search of "race card" yielded more concise, coherent responses than I would be able to put together for a blog

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-66714453373598218822007-03-05T07:15:00.001-05:002007-03-05T07:15:54.856-05:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-44341305230607464882007-03-04T12:03:00.000-05:002007-03-04T12:52:34.216-05:00

For the love of Jebus, Bill Simmons, don't ever again write about college basketball or race. Please. Stop. Is this the legacy you want to leave your child?I know I've written about Simmons before and nothing's changed. He couldn't care less about what I have to say. Fine. I understand I'm not on an MTV "reality" show, I don't live in Boston, I'm simply one of those pesky New Media bloggers

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-5718929101855467842007-03-04T11:13:00.000-05:002007-03-04T11:26:54.613-05:00

Congrats to Jim and Mike. They didn't make it until dawn, but they were both productive, so I'm calling last night's/this morning's experiment a success. I didn't last as long as they did, but I still got some crucial work done.Some random thoughts from my end:I regularly checked my email (for comments on my posts), my statcounter, and the other participating blogs. That proved a small

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-74202781118170149452007-03-04T03:00:00.000-05:002007-03-04T03:02:24.352-05:00

I'm toast. I spent the last half hour outlining; then I realized that I wasn't at all certain about what I was outlining. I'm not sure I can coherently explain. Basically, I ran out of gas. Good luck getting to dawn. I'm looking forward to seeing your progress in the morning, Jim and Mike.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-48342912449014154292007-03-04T01:58:00.000-05:002007-03-04T02:03:29.577-05:00

All quiet on the western front. Distraction-wise, anyway. But I'm writing--in two hours, six-plus pages. And since I haven't written in over two weeks (long story), I'm pleased. I'm amazed I made it this long.Side note: I got a new laptop in December, and it only came with a trial version of Microsoft Word. And the fucker ended two days ago, so I've had to switch to writing in MS Works Word

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-32544599605634131512007-03-04T01:02:00.000-05:002007-03-04T01:05:30.602-05:00

I'm getting sleepy but hanging in. I'm on my second cup of tea. But it turns out writing at night has its distractions.My next door neighbors. The husband can't smoke inside, so when he goes outside to puff away (where it's 28 effing degrees and "feels like" 17, according to Yahoo@#$% Weather), his friends go with him. Apparently they think it's difficult to be heard on the porch. My dog.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-25456681165965218352007-03-03T23:19:00.000-05:002007-03-03T23:34:48.698-05:00

So here I am, awake with adrenaline, tea steeping, wife heading to bed. It's time to write all night.How I got here:Napped this afternoon.Felt the adrenaline already starting at dinner (rice instead of pasta, no heavy carbs to weigh me down), so I calmed myself down.Watched John Sayles' Lone Star with my wife. What a great movie.Showered. Brushed my teeth.Jeans, no pajamas for me.The dangers

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-63310853314177093562007-03-03T10:04:00.000-05:002007-03-03T10:05:25.791-05:00

Try not to laugh. Watch.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-25251425065257456522007-03-02T10:27:00.000-05:002007-03-02T10:28:30.439-05:00

Go watch this and try not to laugh.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-59851090057900023202007-03-01T10:44:00.000-05:002007-03-01T10:47:33.463-05:00

And we're back! Yep, that's right, hiatus over--Saturday night/Sunday morning is the time to write all night. I'll be occasionally posting as long as I can stay awake; JPG, our fearful leader, promises to do so as well.And to prove it's fate, there will be a lunar eclipse on Saturday. Spooky. And that's the cause of my favorite illustration ever (for today, anyway). Read all the fine print.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-49290249210192233292007-02-24T12:48:00.000-05:002007-02-24T12:53:21.735-05:00

The "Write All Night" challenge is one week from today! Well, technically, it's one week from midnight tonight/tomorrow morning. But really, next Saturday I'm going to wake up thinking about it, trying to save my energy. After 11 pm, I'll start brewing coffee. JPG, Mike, George, and I will be writing, staving off sleep as long as we can, posting updates. Go read JPG's challenge and sign on

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-6596870014386350462007-02-22T11:56:00.000-05:002007-02-22T12:35:28.255-05:00

I know I'm posting a little too regularly for someone who claims to be on hiatus, but John Dickerson's latest nonsense on Slate required another addition to my occasional "Hey Douchebag!" series. (For more, click here; for an explanation of the "Hey Douchebag!" series, click here.)The background: David Geffen, founder of Geffen Records and co-founder of Dreamworks, said the following in an

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-25648080652141776432007-02-22T09:00:00.000-05:002007-02-22T09:05:12.443-05:00

Last night, I hosted a graduate reading, and it went very well. The three readers were fantastic, and a good time was had by all. Most, anyway.But C-Wang wasn't there! Chicky, why hast thou forsaken me (and three other people)? Oh, yeah, you're reading for comps. Okay, fine, that's a good reason. But here's what you missed: in honor of yesterday's being Ash Wednesday, I shared an early

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-61346942382978838362007-02-19T16:21:00.000-05:002007-02-19T16:23:17.989-05:00

Just to let you know, I'm going on a little hiatus. I'm a little busy even though I have the month off, writing and reading and finishing off some long overdue work. But I'll be back soon, definitely before the all night writing starts.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-36751530509607526442007-02-12T23:20:00.000-05:002007-02-10T14:00:51.617-05:00

"So much in writing depends on the superficiality of one's days. One may be preoccupied with shopping and income tax returns and chance conversations, but the stream of the unconscious continues to flow undisturbed, solving problems, planning ahead: one sits down sterile and dispirited at the desk, and suddenly the words come as though from the air: the situations that seemed blocked in a

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-58715092274630092822007-02-10T12:02:00.000-05:002007-02-10T12:03:22.565-05:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-25052421502797442232007-02-08T21:54:00.000-05:002007-02-08T20:18:08.755-05:00

Or, An Open Letter to the Students Masturbating at the Urinal of the Third Floor Men's Room of Aged Philanthropist Hall Dear Masturbators: It’s time we had a frank, open discussion about your public habits. Despite years of schooling, you’ve decided that you must, you must masturbate in the third-floor men’s room right by my office. About a quarter of my trips to the restroom are marred by

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-22341562917404596132007-02-08T20:17:00.000-05:002007-02-08T16:20:08.979-05:00

Slate has an interesting pop-up photo essay on copyright in art and photography. It's worth your time.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-29556056206558188322007-02-08T16:11:00.000-05:002007-02-04T14:22:07.180-05:00

Actually, no, I'm not Thomas Pynchon. Not even close. However, I will be taking part in the most famous midnight ride since Paul Revere's:This challenge we'll call Write All Night and it's too take place in the wee hours as March 3rd fades and March 4 begins. There's one rule. Start at midnight and go as long as you can, till dawn if possible. If you crap out, you crap out, but at least you

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-26906080872551027472007-02-03T12:15:00.000-05:002007-02-03T12:39:14.678-05:00

Why you should pick the Chicago Bears:Do you really want to be in a group (other than, say, income bracket) with the Director of the CIA, Bill O'Reilly, Larry King, noted predictologist Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, the guy who created Dilbert, Dick Vitale, Jack Valenti, Jim Christ Caviezel, Adam West, Vanilla Ice, Carrot Top, Terl, and Jim Cramer?Of course, there is one very good reason not to

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-26217900428768824992007-02-03T10:10:00.000-05:002007-02-03T12:47:28.658-05:00

I think Yahoo! News is getting a little invasive, don't you?

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-86300672935631950522007-01-30T21:00:00.000-05:002007-01-30T21:02:37.768-05:00

As I waited for an elevator outside a composition classroom:Teacher: "Remember the salad analogy for the essay. The essay is a salad, and the works cited page is the croutons.As I walked through the effing cold to my car:Nimrod: "I thought I did great on it, but she gave me a 65."

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-83783314057355603242007-01-24T17:24:00.000-05:002007-01-24T18:01:22.753-05:00

Good news: I've collaborated with noted predictologist Pat Robertson to figure out all the possible outcomes of Super Bowl VVVVVVVVI. Not all of these will come true, but at least one will.In a dull game with a few YouTubeable highlights, Chicago's defense and special teams do their work. Rex Grossman goes 12-35, 117 yds, 1 TD, 0 INT. Because he merely "manages the game well," voters have no

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-32697212766187236712007-01-23T20:22:00.000-05:002007-01-23T20:51:10.235-05:00

If you're wondering what that screeching sound is, it's me backsliding on THE PLEDGE. (No, not that one, the other one.) In the last few days, I've gotten no writing done, not even any arts and crafts. I have good reasons for the lack of writing time (lots of copyediting, snow, some overdue work to catch up on), but they border on being excuses. Tomorrow, though, my reign of terror resumes.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-45346556637472281792007-01-21T11:33:00.000-05:002007-01-21T11:49:29.858-05:00

I mentioned in a post the other day that part of the work I'm doing on my novel requires some arts and crafts stuff involving posterboard. Well, I spent about 45 minutes yesterday doing the arts and crafts.See, my novel spans over thirty years; several of those years I wasn't alive for (my oldest brother wasn't even alive for a couple of them), and a few I was alive for I don't remember so well.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-13657468734230760072007-01-20T12:00:00.000-05:002007-01-20T12:10:54.704-05:00

My meme virginity has been stolen from me by none other than Wanda Ball, in fine fettle as usual. So now I have to list five little-known facts about me. Two notes, though:I'm using "little-known" loosely, thank you very much.I'm not passing this on to other people. I don't hand people no lines, and I keep my hands to myself.So here we go, five little-known facts about me.In spite of myself, I

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-37582175352288953282007-01-17T15:08:00.000-05:002007-01-17T15:09:41.111-05:00

If you occasionally appreciate New Yorker cartoons and stories of rejection, this link is for you.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-76850113241492377892007-01-17T14:12:00.000-05:002007-01-17T14:25:07.423-05:00

JPG over at JPG Writes has issued a challenge to novel writers: no matter how strapped for time you are, no matter how many excuses you can make, write one page per day. He calculates this at 20-30 minutes; I don't know how I'd calculate it, other than to say I've been keeping up, and it varies. (I have a minor addiction to a computer game called "Spider Solitaire.")I've signed on and, with the

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168888401705059452007-01-15T14:04:00.000-05:002007-01-15T14:14:58.283-05:00

A Happy Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to you all! I hope you're all celebrating safely today, making sure to adult-supervise the kids with fireworks.Two stories, one mine, one someone else's, about how far and not-so-far we've come in the years since the Civil Rights Movement. Story the first: I study/teach/work at an urban campus, the Funkytown Institute for Increasing One's Future Monetary

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168441929591116752007-01-10T10:11:00.000-05:002007-01-10T10:12:09.650-05:00

The post is long, but if you'd like some sense of how right-wing blogs "work," here you go.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168355123812426822007-01-09T09:55:00.000-05:002007-01-09T10:05:23.826-05:00

Funkytown has a troubled racial history, to say the least (including race riots within the past ten years), so the following is a little odd. One of the local radio stations for people who don't actually like music (a mix of Bell Biv Devoe, Bon Jovi, Kid Rock, and Jojo) has a billboard advertising their morning talk show, hosted by Whoopi Goldberg. "Wake Up with Whoopi," the billboard declares,

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168190108204059412007-01-07T11:32:00.000-05:002007-01-07T12:18:20.180-05:00

Since I've pounced when the New York Times Book Review has gone astray, I should probably now praise it since it's done right. (NB: I usually like the NYTBR, but I think it needs the occasional spanking.) Not only do they place a hilarious, scathing review of Michael Crichton's new anti-science novel next to a positive, thoughtful review of Freeman Dyson's new collection of essays, The

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168176210441397712007-01-07T08:22:00.000-05:002007-01-07T08:23:30.460-05:00

What they said.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168031642307852032007-01-05T16:13:00.000-05:002007-01-05T16:14:02.326-05:00

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1168014343481153452007-01-05T11:25:00.000-05:002007-01-05T11:25:43.503-05:00

Letterman nails it:

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1167832589738613912007-01-03T08:49:00.000-05:002007-01-03T08:56:29.760-05:00

VIRGINIA BEACH (AP)--On the heels of his prediction that a terrorist attack late this year would lead to a "mass killing," "religious" "broadcaster" Pat Robertson recanted, claiming that God tortured him and threatened his life if he did not make the prediction.Flanked by his family, an emotional Robertson said, "There I was, crocheting a "Jesus Saves" pillow for the Jew family down the street,

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1167761848281054052007-01-02T12:48:00.000-05:002007-01-02T13:17:28.333-05:00

Now that Time declared YOU the person of '06, I want to throw my hat in the ring for '07. That's right, ME, Crazy Little Thing, president, Crazye Little Thinge Enterprises, Ltd. So vote for me. Start calling Time today, before that magazine's unplanned obsolescence drags it down into the muck and they declare Joe Klein their house liberal. Wait, that happened already? Shit.***Speaking of

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1167233256381472322006-12-27T10:21:00.000-05:002006-12-27T10:28:35.096-05:00

Back when I posted my complaint about the New York Times Book Review Best Books of 2006, my friend Jake emailed to say he agreed. Then he added, "I would add one thing to your list of complaints: where the hell was The Road on that list? Don't know if you read it or liked it, but I fucking loved that book. Scared the hell out of me, but, god, I loved it."I hadn't read Cormac McCarthy's The Road

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1167192949041690202006-12-26T23:09:00.000-05:002006-12-26T23:15:49.056-05:00

As we veer closer to the new year and the end of the NFL Regular Season, I'd like us all to take note of a special event that's coming up: the final nail in the coffin of Bill Simmons' credibility. You see, this season, he's decided to compete against his wife in picking NFL games. With one week to go, she's four games up on him. I can't claim that he can retain his dignity by winning by one

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1166552979588937522006-12-19T13:25:00.000-05:002006-12-19T13:29:39.606-05:00

From NBA Kommissar David Stern: "We believe that the heat of the moment allows certain overstepping of traditional bounds."Quiz time: This statement was used by Stern regarding:a. the league's crackdown on players complaining to officials about calls? You know, the one where players get technicals for looking at refs wrong?or b. Isiah Thomas' insanity after the brawl at MSG?If you answered "

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1166134260864760172006-12-14T16:50:00.000-05:002006-12-15T09:33:49.583-05:00

My Funkytown acquaintance Kristi Maxwell writes over at her blog, "Thinking: We should banish the terms "difficult" and "difficulty" from our discussions of poetry." Though I like the idea of banishing certain terms from poetry discussions, I wonder who takes care of this. Where are the thuggish poets to do this? Will the Poetry Society of America send over John Ashbery to confuse us and Yusef

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1165967244090425142006-12-12T18:20:00.000-05:002006-12-12T18:51:17.320-05:00

BREAKING NEWS: Soy makes you gay!(Via Crooks and Liars, via Right Wing Watch, via dolorosa)As a (mostly) vegetarian, I'm in real trouble. Praise be for the wisdom of the ever-sane World Net Daily. According to Jim Rutz, who seems a little crazy (or at the very least, needs a proofreader), soy is "a devil food" that leads to increased homosexuality by stimulating your "'female side,' physically

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1165881739854231602006-12-11T18:56:00.000-05:002006-12-11T20:19:47.950-05:00

You know, I just get so peeved at the New York Times Book Review. I can't help it, I suppose. In this past Sunday's edition, they listed their "10 Best Books of 2006": five works of fiction, five works on nonfiction. (They are so kind as to include poetry on their 100 Notable Books of the Year.) Here's what bugs me:Of the ten books, all were published by major presses. Oh, and of the

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1165363495276890962006-12-05T19:04:00.000-05:002006-12-05T19:04:55.293-05:00

Go here.

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1165360941467517372006-12-05T18:11:00.000-05:002006-12-05T18:22:21.483-05:00

Of all the kitschy shit people are putting on their lawns this holiday season, I think the one that disturbs me the most is the white skeletal deer that lights up. There are several varieties, as I learned on my most recent walk with the dog, but the one I see most commonly is a pair that features one deer with its head down as if sniffing the ground, the other with its head tilted upward as if

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1165337958755485132006-12-05T11:56:00.000-05:002006-12-05T11:59:18.770-05:00

So I saw the new Bond flick, Casino Royale, this weekend. Pretty good, all in all. Daniel Craig's a great actor, and my wife made her requisite loud gasps at surprising moments. But here's what bugs me: in a movie series known for its gadgets and mechanical trickeration, how could you have an agent say, "It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop these days"? Honestly, aren't spies using

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22322467.post-1164995555986371842006-12-01T12:43:00.000-05:002006-12-01T12:52:36.536-05:00

An acceptance letter.Any Regina Spektor cd, but especially "Begin to Hope." (By the way, go watch her video for "Fidelity" if you haven't already.)The end of sweatshop labor, or at least a drastic reduction.Fewer fast-moving cold fronts with winds that wake me up in the middle of the night.Something good on dvd, I don't know what.A re-release of Superman Returns on dvd with the right goddamn

Charlie Greennoreply@blogger.com2