So now Pizza Hut has a pizza with a crust of cheese-filled globules that you can pick off and pop into your mouth. The ads feature Jessica Simpson and Miss Piggy. (Feel free to make all the globule jokes you'd like about them. Giggle, rinse, repeat.) Can we get fatter, please? When will they will the pizza itself? Is Crisco a topping? Can we start rubbing butter on kids' teeth?
And as someone who used to have terrible acne, I'd just like to say I'm pleased that Pizza Hut wants teenagers to eat greasy food that will ruin their skin, because that always gets women like Jessica Simpson. Well, actually, the puppet is a more likely date.