Pat Robertson, God's meteorologist

Thank God someone's listening to, um, God. On May 8, Pat Robertson claimed God told him what weather the U.S. should expect this year. From Yahoo:

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

Apparently, God's not taking any chances on predictions. Don't storms hit the American coastline every year? Is God getting senile in his old age? Has he forgotten the Hurricane season he created? And I love the "well may be" of the tsunami prediction. God must be taking cues from horoscopes these days.

Oh, wait, it's not God making predictions, it's Pat Robertson, Christian extraordinaire, who's brought us such gems as:

• his gesture of lovingkindness in calling for Hugo Chavez's assassination;
• his turning the other cheek in agreeing with Jerry Falwell that feminists and gays were responsible for the September 11th attacks (Osama bin Laden, gay feminist?);
• his nuanced analysis of evolutionary theory, which he says is the religion of atheists, as a cult religion, a nuanced analysis Ann Coulter will reiterate in her next screed.