Thursday, April 27, 2006

Raggedy Ann

I don't want this blog to become an "Ann Coulter Watch," but I've got some masochistic vein that keeps me coming back for more. To the columns, anyway. I can only do short bursts of bizarre illogic and silly attempts to shock.

But before I puzzle over her latest column, a small note of praise: the title is "It's Hard Out Here for a Pump." I'll admit, I'm all a-twitter.

But Ann's all a-twit. To wit:

Discussing the 1993 energy budget, in which Democrats wanted to add a high tax to gasoline: "Al Gore defended the gas tax, vowing that it was 'absolutely not coming out' of the energy bill regardless of 'how much trouble it causes the entire package.'

And mind you, this was before we knew Gore was clinically insane. Back then we thought he was just a double-talking stuffed shirt who seemed kind of gay. The important thing was to force Americans to stop their infernal car-driving, no matter how much it cost."

Nothing says to the reader "take me seriously" like calling Al Gore clincally insane. More to the point, can we slow down for a second and debate how we might consider cost relative to, say, the future of the fucking planet? You know, how waste of natural resources might lead to widespread environmental catastrophe? I know we're not supposed to take science seriously, but still.

However, here's the kicker:

"Democratic House Speaker Tom Foley endorsed the proposal on "Charlie Rose," saying: 'I'd have a five-cent increase every year for five years. ... But that's not going to happen ... because we've got people who fret and worry that one- or two-tenths of a cent of a gasoline tax is going to cause some revolution at home.' So in Tom Foley's universe, two-tenths of a cent is the same as a quarter -- another testimonial to the American public educational system."

Oh Ann, you try so hard. But Foley's point was that adding a twenty-five cent tax was unthinkable when people viewed a two-tenths of a cent increase as too much. Again: he wasn't saying twenty-five cents equals two-tenths of a cent. Are we clear? No?

You know, she got her law degree at the University of Michigan. But I'm not going to bring up that whole "another testimonial to the American public educational system" comment.

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